Reflections on the Ganges

After travelling with company for so many months, I’d quite forgotten how simultaneously luxurious and daunting a solitary weekend in a foreign pocket of India can be. Of course, I leave on the usual flight – inhumane a.m. on a Saturday – and as I stumble down the pitch black flight of stairs and bang on the car window to wake the dozing driver, I am excited about 3 things:

1. going to Varanasi
2. going to Varanasi on my own with a good book
3. going to Varanasi on my penultimate weekend in India, which means that two Saturdays from now, I won’t be waking up at 4am. Hurrah!

I’ve been putting off going to Varanasi (or Benares) mostly because it’s a bit of a pain to get to from Hyderabad (5 hours in transit via Delhi), but now that I am finally on my way to India’s holiest city (with a good book), I’m not too fussed about the circuitous route.

This good book I keep referring to is actually not excellent, just reassuring in its familiarity and promising in its foreignness when compared to my own experience and understanding of the world. This good book is eat, pray, love by Elizabeth Gilbert, and fortuitously I have already finished ‘eat’ – staged in Italy, and my departure for Varanasi coincides with the start of ‘pray,’ which is all about solitude and self-reflection and becoming one with God in an ashram in India.

Varanasi is no ashram, but it certainly boasts its fair share of Yogic masters and sadhus (I’m about 70% sure that’s the Hindi word for holy men). Varanasi is all about a continuous communion with God. It’s where Indians who want to be released from the tiring cycle of reincarnation go to die. Those who have lived on the banks of the holy, if filthy, River Ganges since birth consider themselves very fortunate.



I find that I spend the majority of my time in Varanasi walking along the river, taking in the vibrant colour and activity of the ghats and staring at the serene stillness of the water, as well as fending off the self-appointed guides, underage merchants and bullish buffalo. I’ve been assured none of the three bites, but I’m not convinced.

Varanasi is teeming with contradictions. A mix of chaos and serenity, vile stench and transcendent ritual. I find it simultaneously energising and stifling. I am glad to have arrived and equally pleased to be departing within 28 hours.



I spend a long time watching the bodies burning on the riverbank. All Hindus who die in Varanasi (and some who die elsewhere as well) are cremated on the banks of the Ganges, at one of two ‘burning ghats.’ Owned, maintained and run by one very large extended family, the burning ghats are in operation around the clock, typically with 5 human bonfires at various stages of decomposition at any given time.

I’ve never seen a dead body before and this is quite the initiation. The bodies start off wrapped up in cloth and gold foil, but as the flames get to work, the burning limbs, dripping fat, become visible. It’s deeply disturbing, especially when caretakers shove severed limbs back into the heart of the fire with long poles. I find myself thinking, it’s ok, the person’s already dead. It’s spiritual, not barbaric.

A member of the family who owns the ghats tells me “burning is learning” and proceeds to explain that burning purifies and releases the soul. Those who die with a pure soul need not be burned (pure souls inhabit the bodies of people who have died before the age of 10/with child/by snake-bite/afflicted by leprosy/two other cases I don’t recall). In these cases, it’s not ashes that get thrown in the river, but the whole dead body! (Same river in which people bathe, brush their teeth, do their laundry, wash their buffalo. Although the buffalo may defecate in the river, rest assured the people don’t – I see a grown man taking a hearty dump directly beside the river.)

I do a lot of thinking in Varanasi – it’s one of those unavoidable by-products of travelling on one’s own. I think about why I wanted to come to India in the first place, why I’m so ready to leave (a month ahead of schedule) and what I want my life in London to be like when I return.

Of the people who thought spending 6 months in India was a cool idea, the majority still thought I was mad to go through with it. But not once did I think I was doing something crazy or outlandish. I was apprehensive about being effective in my job, but that’s a constant irrespective of location. My apprehension wasn’t remotely related to cultural differences, which to be frank, was a stupid oversight resulting from a mix of naiveté, hubris and literary romanticism. I joke around that all my knowledge of the world comes from novels, but it’s true. I like the literary masterpieces of Salman Rushdie and Arundhati Roy, of course I’ll like living in India. I lived in Italy for 15 months, of course I can live in India for 6. I love Indian food, Bollywood and the bright colours and sounds of Indian weddings – of course India will feel like a second home.



That said, my genuine desire to live in India, however naively founded, was more a function of heart than mind. Inexplicably drawn to the subcontinent, I really had to stop and ask myself why. I now know it was the subtle work of a decade of classes, films, books, speakers, meals and museums. From the homemade paranthas my friend Sanskruti shared with me from her packed lunch in 7th grade to the Sunday afternoon I spent engrossed in the South East Asian art wing of the Met at the age of 14 to the Bollywood class I almost took in college – every contact, however mild, served to kindle the fascination. If I really put my mind to it, I can come up with countless seemingly insignificant instances that, all piled together, year on year, interest on interest, could lead to nothing but a person wanting to live in India for 6 months.

Andrew came to India because it will, along with China, rule the world one day. I came to India because I unwittingly fell in love with it.

In Kerala, I remembered that when I was looking for au pair jobs in Italy, I would check the ones available in India too. In Varanasi, I remember that during the same period of ‘gap year job hunting’ I sent in an application to be an American language trainer at an Indian BPO. I didn’t even know what a BPO was! Nor the cultural significance of the Indian call centre. I just had a thing for India.

I am in Varanasi, in a boat on the Ganges, at 6am on a Sunday morning because in 10th grade, in my South East Asian class, I watched a documentary of which the opening (or perhaps the closing) shot was a pan of the Ganges in Varanasi at dawn. There were silhouettes of spindly men on small fishing boats and the sky was all pink, from horizon to heavens, a deep orangey, mystical pink. Years later, I don’t remember that I’ve ever heard of Varanasi – but when I read in Lonely Planet about the spectacular lighting at dawn by the Ganges in this holy city, I already know exactly what it looks like. I’ve seen it before -- on a small TV screen in 10th grade, which clearly left a lasting impression on some synapse in my brain. This is the way I love India, in snippets of forgotten memories of disjointed experiences, the half of which I’m sure still lie hidden in the recesses of my mind, waiting to be jogged to life by some as yet unknown trigger.

Working in India has been difficult; the cultural divide poses a veritable grand canyon of difference that I feel I will never successfully bridge. Travelling in India is a joy, but it’s not easy either. Wonder is always tempered by heartbreaking poverty and foul smells and terrible filth. In many ways, I feel like a voyeur, taking a fleeting interest in India and her masses but always maintaining a safe distance, not really connecting with anyone or anything.

This is no way for someone who is in love with a place to behave, but that’s love for you. Inexplicable, unpredictable and not always strong enough to overcome the doubts, apprehensions and prejudices of the mind.

I have mixed feelings about India, just as I have mixed feelings about what goes on in Varanasi. Part of the ability to enjoy and appreciate where I am is the knowledge that I’m able to leave, that it’s not really my reality.

I fully expected to find a place in India. It’s always difficult to adjust to living in a foreign country, but I expected to integrate, to figure out my way around the culture, to leave 6 months later and be in two minds about leaving.

Instead, I feel like I’ve survived India.

But I’ll take survival. Even my Indian friend Bani thinks I’ve done well to live in India for 5 months. To spend a weekend sitting on the banks of the Ganges in Varanasi on one’s own is no small feat, she assures me.



I spend Sunday afternoon poking around Varanasi’s expansive university. At the university temple, students sit studying on balconies and windowsills – does it give them an extra edge, I wonder, studying in a house of God? I’m a bit of a novelty, which is odd, as there are reportedly 2000+ foreigners studying at BHU (Benares Hindu University). One 20-year-old guy tells me, “Speak to you, I am very happy.” I, detached as ever and somewhat embarrassed by the inexplicable pleasure he has derived from saying hello to me, smile and nod and shuffle off – I’ve got a flight to catch, sorry, bye, happy Sunday.

Several cancelled and delayed flights later, I arrive in Hyderabad at the wee hours of Monday morning, re-indoctrinated in the art of travelling, being and thinking alone.

Pretty in Pink City

Most visiting India on holiday will spend a fair amount of time in Rajasthan, but as I am based in the south, this north Indian state – known for its sweeping deserts, majestic architecture and colourful, chaotic bazaars – has somehow eluded me.

With four weeks left in India, I’ve finally got plans to see a bit of Rajasthan. I arrive in Hyderabad from Thailand at 11pm on Friday night, and at 6am on Saturday I am on a flight to the 3rd stop on India’s golden triangle (Delhi – Agra – Jaipur).

Jaipur is known as the pink city, our taxi driver explains. Our guidebooks have conflicting stories – a Maharaja ordered the city painted pink for the arrival of Prince Albert [v. 1] or King Edward [v. 2]. Either way, it’s not exactly pink…more of a deep rose, dusty maroon colour, but the lovely pastel pink of the City Palace makes up for this little fib.

As we weave through the standard Indian traffic of cars, trucks, people, bicycles, autorickshaws, hand-pulled carts, dogs, cows (+ hogs & camels in Jaipur), our taxi driver concedes that you need three things to be able to drive in India:
1. a good horn
2. a good set of brakes
3. and good luck!

Andrew and I couldn’t agree more.

As Jaipur is home to maharajas and ornate palaces, we decide to invest in a little upgrade and stay at the Samode Haveli, a 156 yr old Rajasthani palace converted into a heritage hotel. It’s hard not to feel like royalty staying in a place like this, and every inch of our room – dubbed the ‘Sheesh Mahal’ – is covered in shimmery little mirrors!



After a quick nap in our princely room, we rick into the heart of Jaipur’s old city. I get more than my fair share of stares – perhaps because I’ve given up on my Indian garb – but I reckon people would stare even more if I glided through the streets of Jaipur sari-clad. (This pic’s from traditional Indian day at work).



As we wade through the street traffic, a cheeky little monkey of a girl pinches my arm (hard) and I am suddenly thankful that all I usually get is a stare! I want to pinch her back, but a camel catches my attention and before I know it, I am swept up in the vibrant colours and pungent smells of the bazaars.



We scale a minaret and find Jaipur sweeping far beyond the confines of the old city. And at the City Palace, the Indian princes give new meaning to the phrase 'the long tail'!



On the way back to the hotel, our rickshaw driver speaks an unparalleled English. He says he learned it from Anita Bose, an American art collector who bought him his first rick when she first visited Jaipur. According to Wikipedia, Anita Bose is the daughter of an Indian freedom fighter. Her mother is Austrian, and Anita teaches economics at the University of Augsburg. No American art collector in that – good story though.

The late afternoon is all about the swimming pool. I finish reading ‘One Night @ the Call Centre’ by Chetan Bhagat, which turns out to be quite an eye-opener given all the India call centre bashing that goes on in the US and the UK. Let’s just say the guys who man the call centres out here aren’t too thrilled about having to speak to Americans all night either.



My new favourite hobby is going to really posh hotels (a grand+/night) to have a good drink and a little nose around. So after a dinner of traditional Rajasthani fare, we go to the Rambagh Palace – breathtaking (and with every breath the smell of freshly cut flowers). I have no doubt this will quickly stop being my new favourite hobby as soon as I am back in Europe and not allowed into hotels of this calibre in jeans and a T-shirt.



We spend Sunday morning by the pool and head off to Amber Fort in the afternoon before catching our outbound flight. The fort is certainly majestic, if not palatial, and here more than elsewhere, I appreciate the contrast between the bright colours of the Indian women’s clothing and the mute tones of the desert. It’s a festival day, and many Indians are walking the 10km from Jaipur to the fort, where they pay their respects to Kali (goddess of power).



I am most excited by the fact that at Amber Fort, I finally teach myself how to drink like an Indian: head back, bottle hoisted above my mouth and not touching my lips, pouring water steadily and swallow, swallow, swallow. An extended Indian family has a good laugh at my efforts, but I am well pleased with this newfound skill. Now all I need to do is learn how to put on a sari (and how to speak Hindi), and I’ll be set.

I Heart Thailand (again)

There’s just something about the toilets in Bangkok’s Suvarnabhumi’s airport that make me breathe a deep sigh of relief. Spotless floors, plenty of loo roll, hooks on the door for your handbag, rubbish bins in every stall, sensor-activated taps. I reckon I could eat straight off the floor and not get sick. In short, pure hygienic bliss.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg! But before I get into the heart of Chiang Mai, a quick note on the Friday night red-eye from Hyderabad: I am lucky enough to be sitting amidst a group of rowdy Indian men who are keeping the sweet Thai air hostess on her toes by ordering two whiskey sodas each, every 5 minutes. (No wonder alcohol is banned on Indian carriers!) My first hunch is destination bachelor party, but these guys are way past marrying age. More likely a destination collective mid-life crisis. Bangkok does love its kinky side.

As you can imagine, I arrive in Chiang Mai a little short on sleep but otherwise pretty excited about the prospect of spending (almost) a full week in one place – and such a lovely one at that. Laura’s choice of guest house could not suit me more. The River View Lodge, sat beside the river - a little ways back from the main road, is charming and serene, with crisp white sheets and a ground-floor balcony looking out onto a lovely garden.



I fall into a deep sleep waiting for Laura to arrive and when she does we get right down to business: pad thai, pedicures and Thai massages. I am definitely on holiday.

Although I don’t develop strong feelings for the city of Chiang Mai (2nd biggest city in Thailand after Bangkok), I fall head over heels for the treasures tucked away in the lush hills that surround it. My first priority is riding an elephant – a prospect I find simultaneously exhilarating and terrifying. Given that I screamed blue murder for the full 15 minutes of an up-hill donkey-ride in Santorini, Greece exactly a year ago, I’m not quite sure how I’ll take to the ellies, but I’ve been into the big lumbering fellows for ages.

An hour outside Chiang Mai we pull up to Maetaman Elephant Camp. I’m a little weirded out that upon entering the camp, the first thing we see are about 15-20 elephants chained up. The pang of sadness is fleeting, as we are quickly ushered to an elephant show (tricks galore) and then onto the back of a 30 yr old female named Layya for an hour long rainy trek through the scenic hills.



The pang returns but not that day. I have a grand time riding Layya through the mist and drizzle, rewarding her eager trunk with bananas and sugar cane and conquering my fear of straddling her bare back.



A famous hilltop temple, royal gardens, a tribal village, rafting, waterfalls, a monkey show, some night market shopping and a couple dinners later, Laura and I head back in the direction of the Maetaman Camp, but this time our destination is the Elephant Nature Park, a haven where abused elephants are free to roam the land as they please and are not forced into one of the 3 professions domesticated elephants in Thailand typically take on to earn their keep: illegal logging, street begging (city streets are a very stressful habitat) or trekking (with tourists on a back that has not been designed to carry such weight).



I figured watching elephants in their natural habitat would be cool but I didn’t begin to realise just how thrilling – not to mention relaxing – it would feel to be in such close proximity to so many of the animals. Feeding and bathing them fills me with awe, but more than anything, I love sitting in the gazebo and watching them interact with each other off in the distance. They hang out in their family units – being playful and affectionate – and sometimes walk off for some ‘alone time’ or to chill with a friend from another fam.



The day’s not all fun and whimsy, though, and I am deeply distressed when I find out how elephants across Asia are ‘domesticated’ and how mistreated they tend to be throughout their lives. Domestic elephants have no rights in Thailand – legally, they are the equivalent of livestock. Between the ages of 2 and 4, they all undergo a ritual ‘spirit-breaking,’ called phaajaan, during which they are tortured into a life of submission. Kept in an enclosure only slightly bigger than themselves, they are deprived of food, water and sleep and are hit, poked and jabbed with nail-adorned bamboo sticks until they are injured, bleeding and indisputably obedient to their human masters. This practice has been going on for thousands of years and continues today with every domesticated elephant in Asia – it’s the industry standard – a reality of elephant training that those who rely on elephants for their own livelihood hardly consider torture.



All but two of the 30+ pachyderms at the elephant sanctuary went through this ‘training’ as babies. The founder of the park, Lek, aims to prove that elephants can be tamed just as well with respect, love and positive reinforcement. So she’s really a behavioural scientist with a 100+ year experiment on her hands – Hope, a juvenile male elephant of about 7 or 8, never went into the ‘training crush,’ and he’s going to be the one to show the world that training does not have to be a mission in soul destruction.

The national geographic video we watch about elephants in Thailand and the phaajaan is very graphic and brings our spirits down, but the knowledge gained is invaluable. It is a relief that we are here, where the elephants cavort and frolic to their hearts’ content, though I do feel awful about having had so much fun at Layya’s expense. The afternoon ends with a tea-time snack of banana balls (for the ellies not us!), a 5 o’clock bath in the river and then bedtime. The elephants all tucked in, I leave the park knowing that this experience is going to stay with me forever. I’d like to come back some day with kids in tow.



If Wednesday is all about the elephants, then Thursday is all about us. We decide to end our trip on an uber indulgent note and hit up the Spa at the Four Seasons Chiang Mai. Beautifully landscaped with rice paddies, tropical flowers, winding paths and palm trees, and surrounded by misty Chiang Mai mountains, the resort is indisputably magical. We follow three blissful hours in the penthouse suite at the spa with an equally long wine-drenched lunch on a terrace restaurant. Shielded from monsoon rains by an opportune roof, we thoroughly enjoy being inches away from the downpour as all around us, its energetic sheets pummel and quench the resort’s lush grounds.



All in all, the week flies by and I find myself falling head over heels in love with Thailand all over again. I love: dragon fruit, green papaya salad, pad se ew, Thai massages, elephants, orchids, good friends, funky clothing, Singha beer, Thai iced tea, the almost fluorescent green of a rice paddy, flavourful peanuts, misty mountains, tuk tuks, golden buddhas, spirit houses, friendly people and clean bathrooms!



I think I’m in love. And not really looking forward to going back. Especially when I put on the bikini I wore to the beach in Goa – only to discover that it still smells of fermented coconut oil…